Never Entrust Harvey To 'Help Out'
by CreativePunk77
Summary: Beginning of Series Two. Mrs Hunter ends up regretting her decision to allow her youngest son to... redecorate. Sort of a Crack-fic!
1. Death Wish

**CHAPTER ONE: DEATH WISH**

After a potential last look at the house that her and her family had resided in for a week, Teresa Hunter bustled off down the road, heading to the centre of the village, preparing to do the weekly shop. She smiled as she spotted her two eldest children moseying along the road with a local boy, 'Simon', who Dinah had informed her about with a slight blush hinting her sallow cheeks.

Heading to the entrance of the supermarket, Mrs Hunter waved cheerily as the three children noticed her. They waved back, then headed off towards the village hall, the three of them chattering animatedly. Well, that's what it looked like to Mrs Hunter, and she did not dwell on the fact that she had misinterpreted the children's actions, before sweeping into the supermarket.

Picking up a basket, Mrs Hunter sighed. Her heart was thumping against her ribcage and she knew the reason why. Her youngest child had not been with the others as he was at home. _Alone_.

Not that Mrs Hunter minded, Harvey was nearly twelve, he could handle himself. Yet what worried her and caused her heart to slam painfully against her chest, was that Harvey had been left at home by himself _with an objective_. An objective which he had begged and pleaded for on his knees, whining in an incessant tone that had resulted in her lapsing in defeat within seconds.

So, for the past three days, she had been fraying her nerves away over thinking about her decision to allow Harvey to…. _redecorate._ Though Mrs Hunter knew that if she voiced her regret, then she would receive one major temper tantrum, an act she wanted to avoid entirely.

Mrs Hunter soon became wrapped up in a discussion with Doctor Gill, all thoughts of Harvey being dismissed from her mind.

Meanwhile, at the Hunter house….


	2. The Upstairs Bathroom

**CHAPTER TWO: THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM**

Harvey James Hunter surveyed the plans critically, head bopping to the music blasting out of the radio. The plans had been drawn up by his father, with the help of Dinah, and at the assistance of his mother. Lloyd had only input any advice when it came to his room. Or more like, his _half_ of the room. Though both boys had been unhappy about the arrangements, Mr Hunter had promised them that if he received a substantial pay rise, then they would be able to extend, thus securing space for another bedroom.

As Harvey was the 'decorator', he had been allowed no say in the plans, only being made to promise to follow the instructions and to only go mad on his own half of the bedroom, which he shared with Lloyd. Still perplexed over why his mother had backed down so quickly to his demands and the fact that his parents had not contacted a _proper_ decorator, Harvey set his sights on the upstairs bathroom.

It was no easy feat, but he figured that it would be the best place to start. Shoving the plans into his overall pockets, Harvey trudged upstairs. Wiping his brow at the top, he entered the upstairs bathroom and promptly stifled his scream.

* * *

Rose was sitting on the toilet, in the middle of…. _Relieving herself._

As Rose stared at him, too shocked to respond, Harvey backed out and slammed the door shut.

"S-Sorry Rose! D-Didn't know you were in there!"

There was a snort from the other side of the door. "Obviously. You could have knocked."

"I-I didn't even know you were in t-the house! I thought I was a-alone!"

A flush was heard, followed by the turning of the tap, water flowing free, then the door opened, revealing Rose Carter. She stared down at Harvey, seemingly unaffected by what had just happened. She spoke haughtily:

"Well maybe next time, you should knock on the door and enquire who is within. I have to go home now, Mother is expecting me."

Brushing past Harvey, Rose descended the stairs, tugged on her coat and left the house. Harvey cringed before re-entering the bathroom, wary that _someone_ _else_ would be there. Luckily, the bathroom was now empty and he could get to work.

* * *

Harvey glanced at himself in the mirror, winking at his reflection. His mother had forced him to wear an old t-shirt under his overalls as she was aware of how messy Harvey would undoubtedly get, due to him dealing with paint and a lot of it.

His headband was placed by his hairline, effectively pushing his fair hair back and into tufts. Harvey examined his face more thoroughly, gasping out:

"Wow, I actually have a forehead!"

Chuckling, he turned away from the mirror and scanned the room. Before he could paint, he would have to protect every item in the room and he proceeded to do so, smiling at the end of it. Picking up the tin of paint, Harvey's smile widened.

 _Now was time for the fun part._

* * *

A short while later, Harvey had finished painting the bathroom. The pale pink had been replaced with a solid white, which had already started to crack and peel before Harvey's very own eyes. Not wanting to waste any further time on that particular room, Harvey withdrew the plans, ticking off the request for the upstairs bathroom and left the room, heading towards the next section of the house.

Unaware that all of the paint coating the walls in the upstairs bathroom had peeled back entirely, to reveal the pale pink that had been there when the Hunters had moved in.


	3. The Living Room And The Kitchen

**CHAPTER THREE: THE LIVING ROOM AND THE KITCHEN**

Wandering into the living room, Harvey took out the plans, snorting at the instructions. The walls were to be beige, a 'refreshing and light' colour, according to his mother's jotted down notes. However in Harvey's eyes, beige was a _boring_ colour. The living room, the main place where any guests frequented, should be a colour that stands out, a colour that catches people's eye, in both awe and taste.

' _And beige isn't going to do it….. Ooh, the walls should have a rainbow of colours instead! That way, it will REALLY attract people's attention!'_

Grinning at his genius idea, Harvey ticked the living room requests, then shoved the plans back into his overalls. Fiddling with one of the straps, he scanned the ceiling, mentally comparing his height to the one of the room. He would be needing a ladder this time and Harvey doubted that any of the other rooms would not require an 'extra boost' in terms of helping him reach certain sections.

After retrieving the ladder, Harvey placed it against the wall and scampered up it, tin of paint in one hand and the paintbrush in the other. Dipping the brush into the paint, he slapped it onto the wall, starting to decorate. He continued to do this to all four walls, exchanging colours every patch of wall or so.

When he had finished painting the living room, Harvey jumped off of the ladder. He fell awkwardly, landing on the sofa and ending up covered in paint. Gasping, he sputtered out purple paint, eyes bulging in horror as he noticed that the paint had slathered all over the sofa.

The sofa, which was _unprotected._

Gulping, Harvey thought with dread: _'Mum's going to KILL ME!'_

He shot to his feet, dismissing the ruined sofa from his mind. If he didn't think about it, then he could pretend that everything was fine. Head held high, Harvey moved onto the kitchen.

* * *

This time, he protected every appliance in the room, wiping down his face and the front of his clothes with a tea towel. Cringing at the paint splattered all over the towel, Harvey flung it to one side and put on the radio. He grinned when an Elvis Presley song blasted out of the speakers, jamming along to it as he checked the instructions.

Again deciding not to follow the requisitions, Harvey picked up the essentials, climbed up the ladder which he had carried into the kitchen, and got to work, body twisting and turning to the beat.

Once finished, Harvey surveyed his work with pride. A variety of food had been illustrated on the walls, ranging from exploding eggs to salads with stick figures vomiting beside them. Pleased as punch, Harvey vacated the premises, heading back upstairs.

As he ascended the staircase, juggling the radio, the tins of paint, the ladder and the paintbrush, Harvey tripped. The radio went flying forwards and smashed against the wall.

"Oh crap…." He raced up the remaining stairs, collecting his fallen supplies along the way. Harvey inspected the radio, cursing again when he realised that it was broken.

' _This is not my day….'_

Binning the remains, Harvey entered his parents' bedroom.


	4. The Hunter Parents's Bedroom

**CHAPTER FOUR: THE HUNTER PARENTS'S BEDROOM**

By now, Harvey was in a _very mischievous_ mood. A cheeky grin adorned his round face as his eyes flickered around the room. He no longer gave a _damn_ to what his family thought when they encountered his visuals, he was the decorator and what he did, _stayed!_

Harvey tossed the paper, containing the instructions and the neatly laid out map, into the bin, then clambered onto the king sized bed. He recalled the time he had whined at his parents for not allowing him to have a king sized bed and the cold rebuff he received in return. Well _NOW,_ he could wreak his revenge!

Bounding forwards, uncaring if he made a mess on the bed, Harvey stopped before the headboard and reached forwards, beginning to stroke some paint onto the wall. Unlike his previous work, his strokes were delicate, sweeping gracefully up and down like a true artist, _or Harvey thought so._

He hummed tunelessly, annoyed that the radio was now broken, but cheered up when he finished the first illustration. It was of the male anatomy. Snickering, Harvey proceeded to draw all over the wall in front of him, tarnishing the plainness with visual obscenities.

At the end of his 'decorating', Harvey had scrawled all over the four walls, naked bodies and parts, _EVERYWHERE._ The double bed was ruined from the paint that had dripped onto it and the massive display on the wall opposite the bed was one that would make his parents see red in an instant.

Mr and Mrs Hunter, in art form, were _going at it._

Harvey grinned and leapt off of the bed, banging out of the room. Next stop, Dinah's bedroom.


	5. Dinah's Bedroom

**CHAPTER FIVE: DINAH'S BEDROOM**

Strolling into his sister's bedroom, Harvey frowned. Dinah would go _ballistic_ if he ruined her new room and a part of him was screaming at himself, NOT to mess up. Yet the other part of him, the _logical part,_ told him that even if he took it seriously, he had thrown the instructions away, meaning that her requests had gone to waste.

Harvey scoffed, deciding to do his own way and strode forwards, depositing his equipment in the corner. After a quick scan, Harvey settled on plastering the wall with swear words and rude obscenities.

' _So whenever Mum comes in, she'll receive the middle finger off of the wall in return!'_

Harvey giggled, and half an hour later, Dinah's room was complete. Her walls were practically an eyesore and Harvey congratulated himself by doing a little victory dance. He had even scaled the ladder and painted on the ceiling:

' _THE DEMON IS WATCHING YOU!'_

An image of Dinah's furious face filtered into his mind and Harvey cringed, whispering out loud:

"She is totally going to screw me over!... Oh well! Time for more _FUN!"_

Whistling merrily, Harvey moved onto the next room, lugging all of the equipment after him.


	6. Lloyd and Harvey's Room

**CHAPTER SIX: LLOYD AND HARVEY'S ROOM**

Harvey swaggered into the bigger bedroom, cocksure smirk plastered across his face. _Now,_ he could go all out. Slinging his supplies onto his brother's bed, Harvey adjusted his headband, then rubbed his hands together in glee. The end result would be a _huge contrast_ in terms of the style of the two sides of the room.

For himself, Harvey would be decorating his half of the room, how _HE_ wanted it and that meant a lot of ego boosting. Whereas Lloyd would have to contend with whatever his little brother decided on, which Harvey was adamant would be _horrible._

He moved forwards, laying out a white tape which indicated where the room was exactly split. This way, nothing crap would sneak over to his side of the room. Focussing on his side for now, Harvey set about painting the walls a mishmash of colours, drawing the Batman insignia over a block of the wall as well.

Once the walls were painted, Harvey stuck up a board that had dozens of photographs tacked to it and some random drawings and posters which he had concocted and collected along the road of life.

The finishing touches was a phrase, emblazoned in spray paint, exclaiming:

'HARVEY IS THE BEST! FUCK ANYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE!'

Binning the empty spray paint can, Harvey nodded to himself. Of course, his side of the room was the best! Speaking of which….

* * *

He turned his attention to his brother's side and a cheeky grin met his face once more. Nabbing a tin of bright pink paint, Harvey descended on the walls.

Twenty minutes later, Lloyd's side was finished. The walls were bright pink, fairies and butterflies dotted on the wall. To add to this 'hilarity', Harvey had illustrated an image of Lloyd, clad in a tutu and in the midst of performing ballet, above his bed.

Gathering the equipment, Harvey skipped out of the bedroom.


	7. Mr Hunter's Office And The Conservatory

**CHAPTER SEVEN: MR HUNTER'S OFFICE AND THE CONSERVATORY**

As soon as he stepped into the office that his father had proclaimed as his own, Harvey jiggled the top drawer loose and scooped out the bottle of whiskey kept within. Uncapping it, he took a swig, then capped the bottle, shoving it into the front of his paint splattered overalls.

Belching, Harvey giggled and wandered around the office. This place was an off limits zone when it came to re-decorating, but Harvey didn't care. He was _going to work his magic_ , and that meant reorganising his father's work.

A handful of sheets were tucked away in the bottom desk, past work that Mr Hunter had completed and which was now being shredded, courtesy of his youngest son. After the paper had been shredded, Harvey stuck the remains all over the walls, sniggering at the chaos he was causing.

Harvey left the office and made his way to the conservatory. Like the office, _this_ had been off limits as well, but Harvey wanted to change the décor. Upon printing off some _suggestive_ pictures, Harvey plastered them all over the walls of the conservatory, smirking as he drawled:

"We Hunters like a bit of….. _Action."_

Delighted at all of his work, Harvey's face lit up as an idea sprung to mind. _Dynamite_ …. And he knew exactly where to get it from.


	8. The Hall-Way

**CHAPTER EIGHT: THE HALL-WAY**

Retrieving the dynamite had been easy. _Far too easy._ Holding the stick in his hand, Harvey grinned. He was currently standing in the hall-way of their new house, the doors leading to other rooms sealed off. Like his father's office and the conservatory, the hall-way was meant to be left untouched, but he reckoned that having done every other room, the hall-way deserved a little bit of attention as well.

In the centre of the hall-way, was a massive tin of black paint. Harvey skipped forwards, tore the lid off and shoved the stick of dynamite into the paint, the paint sticking to the lower half of the explosive. Having 'borrowed' a box of matches before setting this up, Harvey took one of the matches out and swiped it across the box, the flame alighting.

Marvelling at the colour of the flame, Harvey bent down and lit the stick of dynamite, before shaking the lit match out and chucking it aside. High tailing it out of the house, Harvey sprinted towards the end of the drive, clapping a hand over his ears, moments before a, BOOM! Was heard.

Harvey released the cover over his ears and whirled round, wincing as he saw the front door blown off of its hinges. Peering into the house from where he was standing, Harvey's face broke out into a huge smile. The hall-way was completely covered in black paint! He had _completed_ the house!

Pumping his fist, he took another swig from the bottle of whiskey, oblivious to the camera, stationed at the end of their drive – way, that was zoned in on him, a bemused Headmaster viewing from the other side.


	9. Busted

**CHAPTER NINE: BUSTED**

Emerging from the supermarket, laden down with carrier bags, Mrs Hunter nearly fell over when she heard a massive explosion. A massive explosion coming from the direction of… Eyes wide, she bustled towards home, catching snippets of local's conversations, as she passed them.

"Did you hear that explosion just now?"

"My, sounded like we were at war!"

"I wonder what it was?!"

"Seems like it came from the Hunter's house! You know, the new family that just moved here?"

Hearing this, Mrs Hunter increased her pace, a mixture of feelings boiling up inside her. Whatever Harvey had done…. Well, she would cope with that when she saw the damage.

* * *

As Mrs Hunter hurried up the drive to the house, Harvey dived into the bushes, barely missing being seen by his mother. He watched with baited breath as she took in the front of the house, let loose a cry and hurried in through the gaping hole that used to contain the front door.

Upon seeing the horrific damage, a fuming Mrs Hunter flung down the shopping bags and commanded for her husband to come home, over the phone. As she cursed Harvey under her breath, her other two children came home. Lloyd and Dinah took in the destruction, the former releasing a growl at the state of his side of the bedroom he shared with Harvey.

Dinah shuddered at the state of her ceiling, attempting to calm both her mother and elder brother down, though her efforts were futile, considering how angry SHE was herself. They all winced as the screech of a car was heard outside, frantic footsteps pounding in, indicating the arrival of Mr Hunter.

Bill Hunter searched all-round the house, livid at the state of his office and what his youngest son had done to his previous work, then joined up with his wife and eldest children in the peeling walls of the living room.

* * *

As they discussed how to punish Harvey, they heard rustling in the bushes. All four narrowed their eyes and leapt out of the front door-less hole, screaming in rage when Harvey darted out of the bushes, head tilted back and whisky pouring down his throat.

Harvey sprinted out of the drive and down the street, his relatives giving chase.

"COME BACK HERE!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, H!"

"HARVEY, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"HARVEY JAMES HUNTER! YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SUCH A SORE BOTTOM BY THE TIME I AM FINISHED WITH YOU!"


End file.
